Erotic Rituals
Beginning a sexual encounter with a ritual—a mutually
agreed upon activity—can help couples connect emotionally
and kindle sexual desire. Ritual can also add meaning to
sexual experiences, helping us view and remember lovemaking
with reverence. A simple and pleasurable ritual might begin
with lovers taking turns massaging each other's feet. Create
any type of ritual you desire.
Here's a more advanced idea: Light two candles
and surround with rose petals. Face your lover. Gaze into
each other's eyes and take turns sipping wine as you share
what you love most about your partner's body or prowess
in bed. Then, describe in delicious detail the seductive
pleasures you will lavish upon each other in the moments
to come. When the passion becomes unbearable, extinguish
the candles to complete the ritual. Let the games begin.
Sex mentor Margo Anand recommends several
elaborate rituals that build trust between partners. In
the Sensory Awakening Ritual, the recipient partner is blindfolded
and led into the sanctuary. The other partner's role is
to encourage the recipient to relax, breathe deeply, enjoy
and receive. The blindfolded lover is then treated to a
feast of aromatherapy scents waved under his or her nose
followed by the sounds of different instruments, and samplings
of aphrodisiac foods such as a grapes dipped in liqueur.
Next come seductive touches using feathers
and silk, and loving words. The ritual is complete when
the blindfold is removed and the lovers stare into each
other's eyes, a process known as "soul gazing."
From here, they may embark on a journey with a new appreciation
for each other and for their enlivened senses.
The Magic Touch
Many of us may already engage in seductive rituals with
our lover without thinking of them as rituals. Some lovers
read erotic literature or poetry to each other. Others might
seductively dance to arouse their partners. Massaging or
bathing each other is a wonderful overture to sex. Any ritual,
no matter how simple or elaborate, should emphasize loving
words, eye contact, and most importantly, touch.
"Touch is a human need," says
Patricia Love, Ed.D, author of the book "Hot Monogamy."
When you're an infant, you have to have it to survive; when
you're an adult, you have to have it to thrive. It literally
lowers your heart rate. That's why couples that are happy
together live longer. It's healthy for you."
The Healing Power of Pleasure
Aside from the sheer pleasure of touch and intimacy, there
is good reason to nurture romance at every stage of our
relationships. "The concept of the healing power of
pleasure is grounded in the new science of psychoneuroimmunology,"
according to holistic practitioner Chrissie Wildwood.
"Pleasing experiences such as falling
in love, listening to music, receiving nurturing massage,
and inhaling pleasant fragrances actually strengthen the
body's immune defenses."
Creating
a special place where we can explore the full essence of
our sexuality is a wonderful way to maintain a close connection
with our lover. In this space, we are free to enjoy a range
of creative sexual expression and to reach new heights of
intimacy. What could be more blissful?
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