Envision
a secluded beach where soft breezes caress silky white sand
and topaz waves gently stroke the shore. Or picture a cozy
mountain cabin laden with thick, luxurious rugs and aglow
with the light of a warm fire. A romantic atmosphere can
awaken the stirrings of passion and elevate lovemaking from
the ordinary to the extraordinary.
Whether
it's the honeymoon suite of a five-star hotel, or your own
living room, create an environment devoted to romance, or
a "sanctuary"— a space set aside that allows
you and your mate or lover to explore a new dimension of
sexual connection.
"A
sanctuary protects you from the hubbub of the ordinary world,"
says sex therapist Margo Anand, author of "The Art
of Sexual Ecstasy."
"It
possesses distinct qualities that set it apart: silence,
beauty, elegance, sensual delight. It engenders feelings
of confidence and harmony and sets the stage for moments
of special grace." Creating a sacred space for sex
with a partner is an important means of ensuring a healthy,
happy and enduring sexual relationship.
Creating
a Sacred Space
The most obvious designation might be the bedroom or living
room. However, these spaces may be too cluttered with the
sights and sounds of daily life or too restful to encourage
profound sexual exploration. But even the most unlikely
spaces can be transformed into magical environments.
Choose
a room that will provide a respite from daily distractions.
Those who cannot set aside a room for this purpose can temporarily
transform an everyday space such as the bedroom or living
room. This sanctuary should protect you from the outside
world, providing a safe and peaceful environment free of
computers, phones, televisions, alarms and children.
Ideally,
couples should create their sacred space together so that
it reflects each of their tastes. Once the space has been
thoroughly cleaned and removed of any clutter, decorate
with sensual colors, fabrics, textures and objects. Inexpensive
tapestries or colorful sheets hung from the walls or ceiling
can transform an ordinary room into an exotic temple of
delight. They can also easily be removed if this space serves
other purposes. Consider incorporating decorative prints,
photographs or artworks that suggest romance or erotica.
The
Elements of Love
Now it's time to add elements certain to fan the flames.
Select ingredients that delight all five senses. Candles,
decorative lights, fragrances, incense, scented massage
oil, plush pillows, feathers, bells or other musical instruments
(a stereo is fine too), water, and a few sumptuous treats
such as chocolates, olives, or fruit are possible accouterments.
Experiment with a variety of "tools" to create
the proper atmosphere and spawn new romantic possibilities.
Once
these ingredients are in place, it's time to plan a rendezvous.
Wear something sensual and revealing—lingerie, a velvet
robe or silk kimono. Light candles or dim the lights to
create a soft, warm ambience. Then, infuse the room with
a favorite fragrance. Men are certain to enjoy lavender,
pumpkin and orange, which have been found to send blood
rushing to their "power stations." A spritz of
ylang ylang, eucalyptus or mint can also titillate the senses.
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