Masturbation is the deliberate stimulation of one's own
genitals to achieve sexual arousal and pleasure. It is done
at least occasionally by a majority of both men and women.
In one recent national study, 95 percent of men and 89
percent of women reported having masturbated. It is the
first overt sexual act for the majority of men and women,
although more women than men engage in sexual intercourse
before they ever masturbate.
A Common Sexual Behavior
Most men who masturbate tend to do so more often than women,
and they are more likely to report always or usually experiencing
orgasm when they masturbate (80 percent to 60 percent respectively).
It is the second most common sexual behavior (coitus being
first), even for those who have a regular sexual partner.
Most children—often from the time they are infants
onward—find the occasional stimulation of their genitals
sensually pleasing, but do not come to understand this behavior
as "sexual" until late childhood or adolescence.
During adolescence, the percentage of both sexes who report
masturbating increases dramatically, especially for males.
Most people continue to masturbate in adulthood, and many
do so throughout their lives.
No Physical or Mental Harm
The term masturbation conjures up many myths about its damaging
and debasing nature. Its negative images may be traced as
far back as the word's Latin origin, masturbare, which is
a combination of two Latin words, manus (hand) and stuprare
(defile), thus "to defile with the hand." The
built-in notion of shame and uncleanliness implied by the
defiling portion of the word has remained in the modern
translation—even though medical authorities have been
in agreement for some time that masturbation causes no physical
or mental harm. Nor is there any evidence that children
who engage in self-stimulation are in any way harmed by
it.
The fact that this important source of sexual pleasure
is still regarded by some with guilt and anxiety is partly
due to ignorance of the fact that masturbation is not harmful
and partly due to centuries of religious teaching that it
is sinful.
In addition, many of us have received negative messages
about masturbation from our parents or have even been punished
when caught masturbating as children. The cumulative effect
of these influences is usually confusion and guilt that
is often difficult to sort out. About the only time masturbation
can be harmful is when it becomes compulsive. Compulsive
masturbation, like all other compulsive behaviors, is a
sign of an emotional problem and needs to be addressed by
a mental health specialist.
So, contrary to ancient and popular beliefs, masturbation
does not lead to unbridled lust, does not make you blind
or deaf, give you the flu, drive you crazy, grow hair on
your hand, make you stutter, or kill you. Masturbation is
a natural and harmless expression of sexuality in both men
and women and a perfectly good way to experience sexual
pleasure.
Masturbation May Improve Sexual Health
In fact, some experts argue that masturbation improves sexual
health by increasing an individual's understanding of his
or her own body and of what is erotically pleasing, building
self-confidence and fostering self-acceptance. This knowledge
can then be carried forth to make for a more satisfying
sexual relationship with one's partner, both through each
partner's comfort with mutual masturbation, and because
of the ability to tell each other what is most pleasing.
It is a good idea for a couple to discuss their attitudes
about masturbation and to calm any insecurities a partner
may have if the other should sometimes favor masturbation
over sexual intercourse. In some relationships, masturbation
may be mutually acceptable. Done alone or in the presence
of a partner, the act can be pleasing and add to mutual
intimacy if it is not experienced as a rejection. Like most
behaviors, without proper communication, the act of masturbation
can be used as a sign of anger, alienation or displeasure
with the way the relationship is progressing.
Overcoming society's negative stereotypes and one's personal
feelings about masturbation can allow men and women the
freedom to explore and experience their own sexuality in
a private, satisfying manner. One word of caution: in keeping
with the practices of safer sex, masturbation with a partner
can be an enjoyable alternative to intercourse, as long
as you avoid contact with your partner's semen or vaginal
fluids, especially if you have any cuts or open sores.